


apology

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angsty?, M/M, One Shot, This is old as shit, kanaya is motherly and cares a lot for eridan, kind of ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 20:32:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6722344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What were his last words?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	apology

Eridan flicked his wand once, as if to shake off any specks of blood off of it. 

“You’re a monster, Eri,” a voice rasped.

Eridan turned, his eyes narrowed into a withering glare and his mouth turned into a snarl. A weak Sollux stared at him, still leaning against the wall. “You’re nothing of what you used to be.”

“That’s the point,” Eridan growled. 

“What made you change?” Sollux asked, his brow furrowed as if he were solving a puzzle. “Don’t do that,” Eridan snapped.

Sollux stopped. “Do what?”  
Eridan shook his head. “This. This fuckin' shit. You ask me to open up, dig into the past, give a lengthy, deep explanation of my actions and how troubled I am. And I do, and the second I’m vulnerable you’re going to kill me.” Sollux stared at him. “I wouldn’t dream of killing you,” he replied slowly, almost doubtfully, as if he didn't believe that himself. Eridan narrowed his eyes. “I really doubt that.”

Sollux had yet to fully take in the scene before him. His blood trickled into his eyes, blurring his vision; Kanaya lay in a pool of her deep green blood a mere few inches from where Eridan stood. And then… 

Feferi. She lay motionless in her purple blood, a gaping hole in her stomach. Sollux snapped to attention. “Feferi!” he cried weakly, struggling to get up. And then Eridan’s wand was on him. “Don’t you dare move another centimeter or I swear to god I’ll obliterate you this very second,” Eridan hissed. His voice was menacing, cold, unnervingly… evil? No. Not yet, anyways.

“Then do it, you coward,” he was shouting. “Do you think I have anything here? My lusus is dead. Aradia’s dead. Feferi’s dead. And I just realized what I had for her today. Don’t be afraid, because I’m not either. Kill me. _Kill me,_ you coward!” Sollux spat. 

Eridan stared at him, motionless. “Don’t you tell me you suddenly developed a sense of pity,” Sollux snarled. “You know, I actually think you’re incapable of pity. You never pity anyone else but yourself. You wallow in your shallowness, your worthlessness. You know you’re nothing but a withering shell. And the layers are peeling off, exposing your rotten core. No wonder Fef rejected you. She’s so bright, full of potential. She didn’t want you to drag her back down. You’re a coward. _You’re a coward._.”

Eridan looked at him. Really looked at him. His shirt was singed at the edges, exposing gray skin. Blood soaked his shirt from a wound in his back. More blood trickled out of the corner of his mouth.

Eridan tossed his wand at him. “Do it yourself.”

Then, he dropped to his knees, and lowered his head, as if waiting expectantly. Sollux stared at the wand in his lap. He wasn’t sure if Eridan had meant to kill himself or kill him. 

Feferi popped into his thoughts. The wand buzzed in anticipation, sensing his anger and his fear and his hatred. Hatred for Eridan. Hatred for himself. It was coursing with dark magic, and when Sollux picked it up it shot up his arm and an invisible blade of rage stabbed his heart, fueling his rage. _He deserves to die,_ a voice whispered.

Sollux pointed it at Eridan. 

A blast of white shot out of the tip on its own accord, a thick rope of light and magic, and it threw Eridan back into the wall. The light had gone straight through his forehead. Deep purple blood spattered the wall where he lay, dead.

Sollux felt like gagging. He threw the wand away immediately and attempted to drag himself towards Feferi. 

When he reached her, her skin was ice cold, her eyes open behind her glasses. “Fef?” he whispered shakily, gently shaking her shoulder in an attempt to wake her up. “Hey.” His voice came out in a ragged whisper. This surprised him.

“C’mon, Fef, you can do this. You can pull through. Do it for me, please, do it for me.” No response. Feferi had yet to give any sign she was still living, and her chest stood at a stand-still. The thought of Feferi and Kanaya actually being gone struck Sollux like a bullet, and he let a whimper escape his mouth as he crawled away. To where, he didn’t know.

He wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep so bad. But his dream self was dead. Where would he go? Sollux curled up on the floor. He was so tired. He closed his eyes. He’d only lay down momentarily. Then he’d get Karkat. Just for three seconds.

_One, two, three,_ he counted in his head. But he couldn’t get up. He just couldn’t. His body refused to function. His muscles didn’t move an inch.

Sleep stole him from reality. 

… 

When he first opened his eyes, he saw Kanaya. “Kanaya!” he almost sobbed with relief. She was okay. 

Any trace of the gaping wound in her stomach was gone. Not a speck of blood to be found on her clothing. She sat cross legged in a rather attractive dark green dress, made of shimmery fabric and velvet trimmings. 

She was smiling.

He heard a voice. A familiar one, but less harsh, as if stripped from it’s usual anger and menace. He turned to see Kanaya smiling at Eridan, who was apparently trying to tell a fish joke. 

“Uh, what about… what did the fish say when he swam into the cement?”

Kanaya tilted her head, exposing sparkling earrings dangling from each ear. 

“Dam,” Eridan said. Kanaya’s smile stretched a tiny bit wider, and her eyes sparkled as bright as her earrings. 

“It’s a weird alien joke that the blue boy told me,” Eridan explained. “It’s really not that funny. What’s a dam anyways?” Kanaya shrugged. “Perhaps it’s a structure, inferring from the way you said it was made of cement,” 

Eridan shook his head. “These aliens are scum,” he said irritatedly. Kanaya shook her head. “If you were to approach them in a less obtrusive manner, they would probably grow to like you.” Kanaya smirked. “But then again, maybe not. You have an _unbearable_ personality.” Eridan looked like he was about to kick her out of her chair, but instead he just snorted. “For such a pretty lady, you’re really rude.” Kanaya gave her hair a slight toss. “You think I’m pretty?” she smiled casually. “I’m afraid my flushed quadrant is already preoccupied, my apologies,” she said. Eridan flushed. “By who?” he quickly corrected himself. “Um, I mean, I don’t care. Take your appalling boy discussions somewhere else---it’s probably someone disgusting, like Karkat.”

Kanaya rose an eyebrow. “And what if my flushed feelings are taken by a female?” 

Eridan gulped.  
Kanaya _giggled,_ surprisingly, causing Eridan to smile nervously in turn. Even more surprising. “You’re too gullible,” she laughed. “But what about you? How are things going with Feferi?” 

Eridan looked surprised. “H-how did you know?” he stammered. Kanaya grinned, revealing her fangs. “I just do. It’s quite obvious, actually. And you’ve been looking rather upset. Are you okay?” Eridan frowned, and for a moment, his eyes betrayed a little of the hurt he always lugged around inside. “Um, I asked her to be my matesprite,” he began uneasily. 

“But… she rejected me.” Kanaya’s smile was gone. She gently (hesitantly) took Eridan’s hand, and for some reason, he didn’t pull away. “It’s okay. You were moirails, right? Are you still?” Eridan shook his head. Kanaya bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Eridan,” she offered, for once not knowing what to do. “It’s fine. It’s just… I loved her, Kan. So much. She’s with Sollux now.” Kanaya’s eyes widened at the mention of Sollux, as if she knew something Sollux didn’t know. She took it a step farther, gently pulling him into a hug, and he hesitantly accepted, tensing; but once he was in her arms he melted. There was a shudder, and it was impossible to tell whether Eridan was crying or taking deep breaths. Kanaya looked sideways, just for a moment, and Sollux thought she was looking directly at him. She stared at him for a split second, before slowly pulling away from Eridan, taking a handkerchief that had seemingly popped from nowhere and carefully, delicately wiped his tears, her actions as careful as if she was cleaning a porcelain dall. Eridan said nothing. He was too tired.

She then stood up and offered an arm to Eridan, who, for once, accepted an offer of help and stood up beside her. Only then did Sollux realize Eridan was dressed in a violet satin suit, the Aquarius sign embroidered in dark purple on his chest. His hair was slicked back as usual, but he seemed more casual. He wasn’t wearing his usual frown. His scarf and ridiculous cape was nowhere to be seen. Sollux had to admit: the lunatic looked pretty attractive.

And… he loved Feferi? Fuck. Why did he kill her? Because she was with him? 

Never had he seen Eridan look so vulnerable before. The thought of him crying was like a needle pricking his heart. He never knew. Feferi never said anything.

_But he’s dead,_ a voice suddenly reminded him. _You killed him. Left him curled up by that wall with the blood running down his face like a waterfall._

Sollux stopped. The scene replayed in his head. Kanaya’s features blurred and twisted, contorting into his own. Eridan’s suit vanished, and his usual attire took his place. His face twisted into a snarl, his eyes filled with resentment. Sollux’s heart dropped into his stomach. 

Kanaya, or him now, lay against a wall. Eridan was glaring at the ground, and Sollux could actually hear his thoughts: _Please don’t let him kill himself. Please, please, fuck, Sollux, what’s taking you so long, the fuckin' prick?_ Another thought came: _I’m sorry, Feferi. I’m sorry, Kanaya. I’m so sorry._

Just as another thought began to form, and Eridan was about to look up, a blast of white light shot straight through his forehead, the momentum throwing him backwards into the wall. He slumped, dead, on the floor, and blood gushed from the wound like a geyser. 

Sollux’s eyes snapped open, and he leaned over and vomited. The acidic liquid raced up his throat and came spewing out of his mouth and his nostrils, leaving them stinging afterwards. It hurt when he breathed. It hurt when he closed his eyes, because all he saw was Eridan getting killed. Over. And over. And over again.

“Fucking stop it!” he sobbed. “Stop fucking torturing me! Leave me alone! I know you can hear me, Eridan--- _STOP!_ ”

Sollux would rip his ears out if the voices didn’t stop. They accused him of murder, accused him of treachery and malice, taunted him for not being able to handle himself. Called him a killer. 

Just as Sollux was teetering over the brink of insanity, he felt a blow to the back of his head---and blacked out.

… 

A new voice floated into his thoughts. But he knew this voice. 

“He… killed everyone?”

“Really looked like it.”

“But… he’s just… but Kanaya! And Feferi! Eridan I would understand him killing, but aren’t they his friends?”

“Shut up, Terezi! Jegus, you’re literally screaming.”

More muffled conversation ensued, and Sollux was sure he thought he heard a crash, as if one of them had pushed another into something.

He opened his eyes, his vision adjusting to the light. Terezi and Karkat argued in the corner of the room. Karkat looked as if he were fuming, while Terezi just looked irritated. 

“Where the fuck am I?” Sollux groaned as he rose. Terezi turned around in surprise. A beam lit up her face. “Sollux!” she was seemingly going to run to him, but Karkat snatched her arm and dragged her back. He whispered something in his ear, and she angrily whispered something back, but decided to stay behind anyways. 

Karkat let go of Terezi’s arm. “Sollux, we found you in the lab, covered in blood.” Although Karkat spoke in careful tones, Sollux knew Karkat wasn’t going to be careful in his word choice. Karkat rarely felt any sympathy. This wouldn’t be easy for him. “We had to knock you out… because… well, we thought you were going insane,” he continued.

“Feferi, Kanaya, and Eridan were dead on the floor.” Karkat paused as Terezi gripped his hand, as if the recap were painful for her as well. “Since you’re the only one alive, we need to ask you something.” he continued. “Did you kill them?” 

Once again, the thought of Eridan managed to wedge his way into his brain, his blood spattering the wall behind him, running down the wall as if it were simply graffiti paint. “No!” Sollux blurted. “Eridan killed them. And I killed Eridan.”

Terezi stared at him. “How?” she asked, squeezing Karkat’s hand even tighter. He squeaked uneasily, as if the circulation was being cut off his hand. 

“Eridan… gave me his wand,” he stammered. A tear involuntarily rolled down his face, and Karkat stepped backwards, clearly not familiar with any other emotions other than rage. But Terezi yanked him back. “What were his last words?” she demanded. Eridan thought back to his dream. What were they? They were _do it yourself._ He’d heard them. But when he opened his mouth to speak, all that came out was, “I’m so sorry.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is an old as shit document i found digging around my comp files and decided to post for the fuck of it. sorry for all the ooc, if theres anything that you found so ooc you would absolutely rather rip out your own eyes than read it then please feel free to tell me! thank you


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